Better catspaw than catspew, I always say.

Indeed you do, and people love you for it.

Love me? They've made me famous! My #1 New York Times bestselling self-help book The Catspew Diet, together with associated DVDs, tv series, franchises, residential courses and mobile phones, have made me better known on a global scale than God -- and richer!

I'm currently having my team of Vestal Virgins write up the sequels, Catspew Soup for the Soul and Women are from Venus, Men had Better Admit They're Catspew. Soon to be not just in a bookshop but in many bookshops near you, not to mention tobacconists, video rental stores and greengrocers.

"The Zen of Catspew Maintenance" might also come in handy.

I knew you were keeping virgins, comes as no surprise.

Cor, you wrote all those...?

Well, me or the widely misnomered Virgins. I do the mentoring, see?

"Well, me or the widely misnomered Virgins. I do the mentoring, see?"

You dog.

Oh, it's called mentoring now, is it?

High fives all around!

LOL.