"whatever liquor and choccies Selkie, Lili and Thog have left us"

Oho, someone is yet again trying to shuck off responsibility for the devastation of the goodies in the kitchen even before the guests arrived, eh? It's lucky his surprisingly nice wife was there to let us in, because he'd never have managed to get as far as the front door unaided.

Welcome, Michael! That loud, echoing noise in the background is your host . . .

Oh my god! Someone left Hutch0 unattended in the kitchen and he is now a 40 stone bloater? Is anyone planning an intervention? ;-)

I don't think anyone dare intervene. You know what he's like when he's had a few bottles of Clan McTesco Special Reserve.

Hang on, where did the bloater come from...?

As long as Hutch doesn't eat one of the cats an intervention won't be necessary.

Welcome, Mike. But abandon hope . . . it's a madhouse here. You do realize Hutch lives in Friern Barnet, don't you?

*user waves*
Not to worry, Mike, I'll tell you ALL ABOUT hutch0 at RavenCon. You're safe once you know where all the bodies are buried.
Cheers and grins,
Jean Marie

No one's safe; that's why I had to bury the bodies in the first place...

We can never find a policeman to put in the damn thing, that's why it's all dusty...

"Thog poured the liquor into the sink"

Well, none of the glasses were big enough . . .

Lord a'mighty, y'all are nuts here tonight!

What do you mean, `tonight'?

Yes, we are all nuts, every single one of us. Haven't you heard? The entire planet is one big insane asylum.

Well, one likes to think one's own little corner of it is an oasis of sanity...