Now the nightmare scenario is beginning to take shape. Telegraph columnist and right-wingish Right Winger Simon Heffer is saying he's going to stand against Sir Alan Haselhurst if he refuses to pay back the money he's claimed, and Esther Rantzen, Lynne Faulds-Wood and former 80s pop singer David Van Day have also expressed an interest in standing.
How many of them will actually reach the hustings, I don't know, but there will be more in coming days. Soap stars, retired footballers, television journalists. Some of them really could be elected; the mood in the country's about right. If I wake up one morning and discover that David Van Day is Chancellor and Simon Heffer is Home Secretary, I'm off to Poland and I'm not coming back until the country comes to its fucking senses.