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slowly on - The Villages

hutch0
Date: 2010-01-06 15:42
Subject: slowly on
Security: Public
Location:home
Mood:calmcalm
Music:sky news
Hm. Yes. Well.
Things have been a little bumpy over the past few months, I'll have to admit. What with work and various other things, it was sometimes eleven o'clock at night before I sat down to do anything for myself and then I was working through to one o'clock in the morning, often rather frantically, to get things done. Then getting up again at half past six to get ready for work.
Then I was given some evening jobs to do - not especially late, but they meant I was getting home around eight and not getting any time to myself until midnight or so, and it started to take its toll. I started nodding off at work and wandering around in a fog. Things probably weren't helped by the fact that I was getting a little too fond of the booze, to the tune of about half a bottle of Scotch a night. One night I looked at everything I had to do and I thought, `Bugger it,' and went to bed instead. And I did that the next night. And the night after that. I did manage to keep in touch with things through Facebook, although mostly as a form of displacement activity while I was at work.
I have a friend to whom something similar happened while he was at university and he thinks I had a bit of a brush with nervous collapse. I'm not sure about that, but things did get on top of me all of a sudden, which was scary and not nice. I don't think it was depression, because depression is a terrible thing and all I did was kind of slump, but something did go wrong in my head for a while.
It's odd the way things work out. A month ago I slipped and fell in the kitchen and tore a ligament in my knee, and ever since I've been at home on crutches. The first week I lay in bed, zonked out on painkillers and mostly asleep, and ever since I've been resting. Which it turns out I really needed. I've also managed to go some distance towards drying out, which has been quite difficult. I'm still having the odd nightcap, but hopefully the mad drinking is over. As usual, God poisons his gifts, because without a drink I now seem quite unable to write.
I know I still have stuff to do, but I'm kind of picking up sticks at the moment. Bear with me.
*hugs*
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teacher_bear: Winter
User: teacher_bear
Date: 2010-01-06 16:08 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Winter
I certainly will 'bear' with you. Having had depression and anxiety for a lot longer than I care to think, I understand what it is like to feel that 'slump'. I hope you are able to get some good rest and that the torn ligament will heal quickly and completely. As for the drinking, my thoughts and prayers are with you that you find the strength you need in this situation.
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hutch0
User: hutch0
Date: 2010-01-20 12:11 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, Dave.
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(no subject) - (Anonymous)
hutch0
User: hutch0
Date: 2010-01-20 12:12 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
You know, I've tried everything but sloths. Bogna's newest idea is a poultice of crushed cabbage leaves bandaged to the knee. Can't hurt.
And don't worry about the rest; I've been doing nothing but resting since the beginning of December.
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Altariel
User: altariel
Date: 2010-01-06 16:08 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
*hugs Hutch*
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hutch0
User: hutch0
Date: 2010-01-20 12:13 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
*hugs back*
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User: sarcobatus
Date: 2010-01-06 16:50 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
You dear man, I knew something was bad in your life, in addition to the knee injury, and I have been very worried about you.

It's good to hear your voice at LJ, Hutch. You're missed! And, of course, your friends love you and will bear with, although it's not a matter of bearing with you, as much as it is we love you, Hutch.

Hang in there, and don't forget you have friends who care about you. I know I've been in the doldrums enough times to know how easy it is to isolate myself when the pain gets bad. If there's anything, and I do mean anything, I can do for you, please don't hesitate to contact me.

I mean it.

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hutch0
User: hutch0
Date: 2010-01-20 12:15 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Yes, well, it's all rather embarrassing to admit to. I like to think I can usually cope with stuff, and it seems a bit silly to discover that I can't.
Bless you, dear girl. I will of course get in touch, and you may live to regret that offer...;-)
*hugs*
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pds_lit
User: pds_lit
Date: 2010-01-06 17:49 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Ditto all of the above. Just glad to have you back
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hutch0
User: hutch0
Date: 2010-01-20 12:16 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Well, not back back, but sort of on the way.
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mylefteye
User: mylefteye
Date: 2010-01-06 19:45 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
An honest post, and one I'm glad you made. I was wondering where you'd got to. Here's hoping you can put all the crap behind you and move on. And promise you'll lay off the scotch. Seriously, keep away from the bloody stuff. The writing will come back without it. *big brotherly hug*
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hutch0
User: hutch0
Date: 2010-01-20 12:16 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
*little brotherly hug back*
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jmward14
User: jmward14
Date: 2010-01-07 05:58 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
{{{{hutch0}}}}
Sounds like you not only hit the wall, you went through it. Stress and loss (you've been mourning, yes, you have) and exhaustion, plus injury--it would be a miracle if you could write at the moment. It's not the Scotch, and it's not writer's block. It's the body and brain need time to recover. The words will come when they're ready.
I learned that the hard way...well, without the Scotch. Talk about poisoned gifts, what about blessed sins? Despite the various truckloads of crap that have landed over the years, vanity has always kept me from drinking to excess. Alcohol contains too many calories. Darjeeling tea, now... every cell in my body is pickled in it. :-)
Much love and healing wishes,
Jean Marie
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hutch0
User: hutch0
Date: 2010-01-20 17:34 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Thanks, Jean Marie. *big hugs*
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calcinations
User: calcinations
Date: 2010-01-07 23:23 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Nice to know your still alive, I was wondering where you had gotten to. And watch out for the ice when you go outside.
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hutch0
User: hutch0
Date: 2010-01-20 12:09 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
No worries about the ice; I've been out of the house about half a dozen times since I did my knee, mostly to the GP's or to hospital. The rest of the time I've been sitting here getting cabin fever.
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rou_killingtime
User: rou_killingtime
Date: 2010-01-15 00:04 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
So glad to see you posting on your LJ again, Hutch0. I'm still in my cave myself, but I'm poking my head out and taking a quick look around every so often, and I was pretty concerned when I saw that you hadn't posted a thing in over a month.

Speaking as someone who has personal experience of depression and nervous collapses, it does sound like you were walking fairly close to the cliff's edge, but happily you had that 'bugger it' moment which turned you back toward safer ground.

Here's wishing that all your future footsteps fall on terra firma.
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hutch0
User: hutch0
Date: 2010-01-20 12:07 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Thanks for your good wishes, and I'm glad to hear you're looking around from time to time. As I say, I don't think it was depression, but whatever it was, it was scary, and the worst thing was that I couldn't seem to stop. I still don't think I'm quite right in my head, but things seem clearer now, and I'm not exhausted all the time, which helps.
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RealThog
User: realthog
Date: 2010-01-20 21:21 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)

Nobody ever tells me nuffink . . . and I should check LJ a bit more often. (I've kind of got out of the habit.)

I'm so sorry to hear you've been going through rough times, old fruit, and I wish you'd given us a yell of distress -- indeed, I'm surprised Bogna didn't insist that you did. Do please kindly remember in future that we're here, and at the very least can be sobbed at over the phone.

*incredibly platonic hugs plus a jockish ligament-reshredding backslap*
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hutch0
User: hutch0
Date: 2010-01-21 16:47 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I wasn't actually going to say anything about it; there are people in a far worse state and situation than me and it seemed kind of fatuous to whine about it, but I figured I ought to explain why I'd dropped off the radar.
I'm not entirely sure talking about it would have done much good, but bless you for the offer, and I'll certainly keep it in mind if, god forbid, anything like this happens again. *hugs*
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User: sexsource1
Date: 2010-07-12 09:33 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I was very happy to find this site. I want to thank you for this grand read!! I absolutely enjoying every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to confirm out new things you post.
סרטוני סקס.
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